unlocked

I intended to stay within the fortress
that took me a long time to mold
Planned all the ways I'd spend my days,
leaving the gates of my estate closed
Curiosity pulled me to wandering down
paths that weren't free from danger
and I promised I'd slow down
so I didn't get caught up in tangles
Beams radiated from your direction
and I learned of your ways
Thought God was being generous
when you smiled for my sake
You offered your strong hands
and I got as close as I could
Lined up our fingers by degrees
Felt like the start of something good
I let go but thread by thread
for I still meandered back to home
and then I'd go seeking your shine
it felt much better than being alone
The foundation seemed sturdy enough
I ingenuously gave shape to wishes
Wanted to fight through misfortune
and free myself to be your missus
I gathered other visions of aspirations
like being mother to your children
and it took me some time to realize
what I was doing to myself again
The weather is dark and dreary lately
I rush to get back behind walls
and I struggle with these feelings
as regrets echo through the halls
I am indignant I got ahead of myself
Had unlocked all those gates
Your presence lingers every corner
How could I have entrusted the fates?
I feel cold laying here without security
My hopes take up too much space
I keep thinking I could give it another try
Every time I call to mind your face
I still can't believe where I've been
And now I don't know where to go
It's strange battling truth and dares
Swinging to and fro, between yes and no