Friday, August 23, 2013
where do you take me?
On a misty evening, I tip-toe barefoot down the pebbled pathway as drops fall sparingly. I love the coolness of the smooth rocks against the curves of my feet. I love how the sky forms a protective blanket of clouds over me, reflective of my mood. I hurry, wanting to get away from the echoes of your desertion. In the closeness of the earth, I find sounds that swallow the residues of your absence. It’s true, isn’t it? You barred your heart and lost the keys, lover. I was kind enough to want to change the locks altogether, but you swore like I’d be trespassing. I pause to lean against a tall bark, entranced by my breaths. It’s cold, but I’m burning inside. And I burn every other place you have touched me. Carrying you feels heavy but where could I leave you otherwise? Besides you, what else stands between us? It’s you. It’s you. Tell me how is it that I feel imprisoned outside of your heart? With my hands outstretched, short of breath, I beg the universe with my eyes. I have traveled for long periods, searching for alternatives to the truth. I thought I could still find some way to be closer to you. The rain picks up, cleansing my tears. I hope it also washes away this loneliness. I withdraw my arms and gather myself in a hug, chilled by my fruitless thoughts and not the weather. I remember vividly. I play each conversation in my head. Sinking in the deep waters of shame, I re-live every moment of our lovemaking, of how close I let you get to me. I fall to my knees, reflecting on the way I had dropped all the curtains from the windows of my heart. You had peered, talking so passionately about vulnerability. Talking like it was an urgent matter and you needed to get inside.. I left the door open. I left it open. And you entered me, taking my breath away. I remember the trail your soft kisses left. No one’s followed since. I remember the imprint of your hands on my skin. I cover the damage with these clothing. I love the softness of the grass against my calves. I remember your caresses there. I love the drops trickling down my back. I remember the feeling of your body against mine.. I remember I remember I remember. Where else could I take you? I love you, and I remember the whispers you left in my ear. I remember. And you, where do you take me?